By Herbert T. Wadsworth III
For years Morristown has been allocate funds and obtaining grants towards the purchase of the historic Post Office near the Green. What the city intends to do do with the 106-year-old structure was something of a mystery, however.
City officials recently indicated that they hope to eventually move municipal offices the.
But Morristown Green has learned that a group of foreign investors are planning to turn the post office into something completely different:
Miners will not carry picks or shovels. They are bitcoin miners, and their tools will be hashes, “cryptographic nonces” and blockchains.
If you have no idea what this means or how it works, you are not alone.
“We just know it’s big. We saw the ads. Matt Damon and Tom Brady wouldn’t lie,” a highly unreliable source with third-hand knowledge of the situation posted on social media.
In February, the council hiring Historic Building Architects LLC of Trenton to assess the condition and potential uses of the post office. One of the intended uses is believed to be renovating the ruined facility of a bitcoin mine or cryptocurrency farm.
As a rule, these places consist of several banks of computers that perform the actual “mining”.
“A simple way to think about bitcoin mining,” explains CoinDesk.com“is to imagine that each new block is a treasure chest with a combination lock on it. To get the free bitcoin block reward inside and earn the right to add new transaction data to it (and to collect the associated fee), you must continue to spin one of the number wheels on the lock (the nonce) until you crack the combination (the target hash.)”
Described by outsiders as involving an offshore consortium – the shoreline of which could not be determined at press time – the operation would lease the post office building to the city, if officials can strike a deal first purchase with the postal service.
It’s a big if. The administration has expressed frustration with negotiations so frosty that it sometimes looks like offers from the municipality have landed in the dead-letter office.
Critics describe bitcoin as even bigger if, even though the world’s bitcoins are worth over $1 trillion, according to Investopedia.com.
Although bitcoin mining only involves bits and bytes of data, some environmentalists suggest it may be more damaging to the planet than coal mining. Huge amounts of electricity must be generated to run all the computers performing these largely unregulated transactions.
Bitcoin mining already consumes eight times more energy per year than Google and Facebook combined – more electricity, even, than Norway and Sweden, according to published reports.
Mayor Tim Doughertycity administrator Jillian Barrick and postal representatives could not be reached for comment as we did not have time to contact them.
They are not available anyway, someone near the town hall claimed. They are busy devising April Fool’s Day pranks to bring down their unsuspecting colleagues, the alleged source said.
Correspondent Herbert T. Wadsworth, writing under a pen name, claims he was a Madoff Fellow in the state of New Jersey. He says he is still striving to find himself.